Do you believe in love like I believe in pain?
Dakle, ovo je stari post koji objavljujem za Nikol, ali i da ga ja mogu pročitati u miru.
Originalno vrijeme: 12:35, 30. kolovoz 2008
Bez ikakvog uređivanja, ovako je izgledao (s ovim naslovom) neobjavljeni original posta:
It aches in every bone. I'll die alone, but not for you.
My eyes don't need to see that ugly thing, I know it's me you fear.
If you want me, hold me back.
Frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail,
And so we go back to the remedy.
Sinoć sam išla u Cinestar. Gledali smo The Mamicu. Ups. Pardonček. The Mummy*. Čini mi se da je svaki novi nastavak Mam... ovoga Mumije sve gori.
Putem sam u vlaku srela Igora i nekog njegovog frendića. Napor, napor. Ne volim te ljude. Idioti.
Uglavnom, izašla sam iz kina sa očima zamagljenima ko da sam spavala, a ovaj se putem do vlaka skoro ubio. A bogće malo. Bar je dobio izliku da strusi malo rakije. Pft.
I još zajebava.
- Vidi krv. Mmmmm krv. Mljac. Krv.
Da se nisam uspjela suzdržat, opet bi letio.
My philosophy is things are just as wrong as they seem.
I've gotta get you off of my mind, an oddity.
Dakle. Idem ja natrag vlakom doma. Šaljem poruku, blejim kroz prozor. Sve uobičajeno. Ipak je bilo skoro 10 navečer. Nisam htjela sjedit sama jer bi zaspala sigurno.
If I gave you the truth, would it keep you alive?
Though I'm closer to wrong, I'm no further from right.
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me,
Convinced on the inside, you're so much more than me.
I uglavnom, uđe u Sesvetama (metropola m/,) onaj neki freak iz Križa. Brijem da ima oko 20 i nešt sitno, iako tvrdi da ima 19. I pričamo mi, normalno. I mulca je smetao propuh, pa idemo sjest u kupe, taman je jedan prazan dolje. Sjedimo, on preko puta mene, pričamo. Zanimljivo, što smo se dulje vozili, to se on više približavao rubu svog sjedala. Gdje si bila, do kud ideš, kaj si radila, s kim si bila. Čovjek više ispituje od staraca. Nudio mi je Marlboro, nagovarao me. Htjela sam mu prodat foru "kako Isus puši", ali bilo mi ga je žao pošto ima fakat jeftine cigarete. I izvadi lik mobitel, krene zvat nekog, i zoni meni mobitel. Onak koji kurac, otkud njemu moj broj?! Nije mi htio reć, ali okay. I počne dalje ispitivat: jel imam dečka, bla bla. I pita me jesam li kad prevarila dečka. Zakolutam očima i puknem se smijat, jer je namjera bila prozirna, i kroz smijeh kažem "Pa nisam."
- Daj se nagni sim da ti šapnem nešt.
- Neću.
- Ajde daj.
- Haha, nema šanse.
I nagne mi se lik na uho, full prisloni lice uz moje, tak da me grebao s neobrijanom bradom, koja mu je svakodnevni look, i kaže:
- Daj da ti budem prvi s kojim ćeš ga prevarit.
I ugrize me za obraz. Trznem se, okrenem prema njemu, nagnem nazad pošto me već krenuo ljubit i odgurnem ga od sebe.
Pošto je sjeo natrag gdje mu je mjesto, kaže:
- A daj, ne grizem. To sam ovak...
Naravno da se nisam mogla prestat smijat. Prošlo ljeto Gumić je bio lijepo izravan čim me vidio, sa "Hoćeš se barit?", ali ovaj se pravio suptilnim, a bio je toliko očit da sam krepavala od smijeha do Ivanića. I još k tome od smijeha i umora pokupila nekog lika na izlasku iz kupea. Ali to ćemo zanemarit. Šššš.
Uglavnom, pokušavala sam ga zadržat dalje od sebe od otprilike Dugog Sela. Jer nije prestajao. Cijelo vrijeme je mljeo da on pita curu samo 2 puta, i da je to tô. Najviše 3 puta. Ali najviše. Ja se cijelo vrijeme smijem. I prodaje mi neke fore da sam tako lijepa, pametna, sa slatkim smješkom.
- Znaš da sam tako pametna po boji kose, a?
- Ma naravno, pa to se vidi. To ti tako jaki ljudi kao ja vide sve o tebi u očima, takve stvari.
Isuse Bože, daj šuti.
I kad smo stajali na Prečecu (ma hvala Bože, trebao nam je vlak krepati, to bi bilo najbolje!!!) lik je pretjerao. Pitao me koliko mi dečko ima godina. Kažem, 16, taman za mene.
- Kaj ćeš s takvim balavcem, pa tebi treba netko s malo više iskustva. Ja sam ti bolji. A i baš bi mi trebala tak malo mlađa cura.
E, sad vidiš, Tomislave dragi, da ipak "nešto za zaštitu" treba držati dalje od mene. U tom trenu bih ga rasporila, oderala živog, i za zid ga prikovala okrenutog naopačke, kao neka mala sotonjarica. Mljac. Vidi krvi. Kap po kap. Ali tu ne bih ni takla. Dobro bih. Treba ga i netko rasporit.
Then she told me she had a gun.
It sounded like she used it once before on him.
I uspjela sam se izvuć, već me zabrinulo da će me lik pokušat sprječit da izađem, a pas mater, ruka me i dalje boli, danas još gore, tako da ne mogu stisnut šaku, a kamo li se obraniti i istrgnuti. Izađem van, i kako sam pisala poruku, a teretni vlak se isprječio ispred mene, neki lik stoji kraj mene i pogleda me taman kad sam i ja njega pogledala.
I hodam dalje. Tamo uz glavnu cestu, gdje drveće i grmlje lijepo zaklanjaju svjetlo onih glupih rasvjetnih stupova, lik počne hodati sporo ispred mene, ali tako da ga ne mogu zaobići. Cijelo vrijeme sam pisala poruku. Povremeno sam usporavala korak da bih vidjela jel se to meni samo čini ili me lik fakat planira zaustavit kad pogodi trenutak i nađe me u nekoj sjeni, i on je stvarno usporavao korak za koji sam mislila da ne može bit ništa sporiji. Pređem pješački, lik se nekak malo požuri da i dalje bude ispred mene, i tamo uz Argentinu ja stanem, taman sam gledala gdje piše "Tomislav" u posljednjim kontaktima. Lik je nekak usporio... i hoda dalje sporo, i kad sam skretala u Maznicu on skrene nekam ukoso preko ceste, okrene se i gleda me sa nekim odvratnim osmijehom. E tad me već uhvatila panika, 100 metara od zgrade, i okretala sam se cijelo vrijeme da vidim gdje je, ali ga više nisam vidjela.
I wanna be there when you cry,
And when you’re down I’ll help you fly.
I wanna be the one you need.
I wanna be the one you breathe.
Taj lik je bio šlag na kraju jednog preglupog dana. Došla sam doma i samo legla u krevet uz Fade Away na repeat.
Have you ever wanted to die
When you were without your friends?
Haven’t you said goodbye
To the one on who your life depends?
Could it be that I don’t wanna hurt you anymore?
Could it be that we don’t have what it takes?
Take it away ‘cause I don’t like this anymore;
Take it away and throw it away.
Bog zna što bi bilo da nisam mogla zaspati. Ne sjećam se što sam sanjala. Yesssssss. Samo bi mi još to trebalo.
A tako mi se ništa ne da. Osjećam se beskorisno, bez motivacije i samo želim spavati.
Spavati. Bez snova, bez buđenja. Glava mi puca.
Idem crtati dalje.
Uživajte
Adios
As beautiful as fire against the evening sky,
You fuel the lost desire. I no longer wanna die.
Take me by the hand, and see beyond the lie.
Strip away the fences; leave me needing, leave me high.
I know you're so solo, but I can't.
Take me away.
Take me away.
Take me away; I don't wanna lose control.
Take me away.
Take me away.
Take me away; 'cause I don't wanna lose it all.
Relieved of all the pain, you let me see again.
Delievered from my shame now and I am lost for what to say.
Cleansed and pure and weak, I suffer when I dream.
I need to find a purpose. I need to feel you needing me.
I know you're so solo, but I can't.
Take me away.
Take me away.
Take me away; I don't wanna lose control.
Take me away.
Take me away.
Take me away; 'cause I don't wanna lose it all.
Pure and weak, I suffer when I dream.
Cleansed of me, I suffer when I dream.
'Cause I want you to stay, you take the pain away.
Want you to stay. I need you here to keep me sane.
Want you to stay, you take the pain away.
Want you to stay. I need you here to keep me sane.
Take me away.
Take me away.
Take me away; I don't wanna lose control.
Take me away.
Take me away.
Take me away; 'cause I don't wanna lose it all.
Want you to stay, you take the pain away.
Want you to stay. I need you here to keep me sane.
Want you to stay, you take the pain away.
Want you to stay. I need you here to keep me sane.
Drugi kažu...
"Jučer sam te s Vanjom tračala. U tih sat vremena razgovora nismo ti mogle nać ni jednu (veću, op. a.) manu." ~ Tonka
"Ti si najvrijednija osoba koju znam i ne želim da patiš bez razloga, ma da ikako patiš! (...) Imaš jednu manu... osjećaj manje vrijednosti, a ja bih htjela da prestaneš tako razmišljati! Svi koji te znaju vide tvoju vrijednost. Kad ćeš i ti?
(...) Ma kakve god bile te okupacije, meni je na prvom mjestu moja sreća. A bez tebe, ja ju ne vidim... Smatram te svojom sestrom i da ti se nešto, ne daj, Bože, dogodi, to bi me ubilo. Koliko God to blesavo zvučalo, ti si dio mene i uvijek ćeš biti. Osim toga, ja sam savršena; da bi bila dio mene moraš biti prekrasna. Što i jesi!" ~ Vanja
"Rekla bih da si opičena. Komplicirana. Pomalo tvrdoglava. U duši pre dobra. Optimistična za druge, za sebe ne. Previše pričaš. Zakon se smiješ." ~ Petra
"Opet si vježbala?" ~ Ivana
"Bloody punk. JOJ!" ~ stari
"...pa kad je glupa ko kurac!" ~ Donkey
"Ti fakat imaš visoko mišljenje o sebi, jel' da?" ~ Njegovo tzv. Visočanstvo Kupina
"Ti malo nisi zdrava." ~ Toth
Ovo su o meni pisali dražesni Ruđerovci kao zadatak iz etike iz prvog polugodišta
Dobra prijateljica koja voli pomoći. (
Aladin)
Pljuska me i grebe me. (Kupina)
Pametna.......
Pametna
Dobra osoba.
Ima velike čizme.
Živcira me, antipatična. (Habunek)
Pametna, dobra frendica
Odlična osoba
Malo crna cura??
Pametna
Zgodna
A što ja kažem o sebi?
Zovem se Viktorija. Navodno, po saveznoj državi u Australiji u kojoj mi živi baka. Dakle, to bi se trebalo pisati Victoria*.
Uglavnom. Potpisujem se sa Vixx (kako me neki i zovu), Vick Dusthead, Jinxie, Kinxie (pitam se zašto su mi izmijenili nick)... ima toga.
Imam... plavu kosu kojoj povremeno farbam vrhove u ljubičasto ili crveno. Plave oči.
Visoka sam oko 165 cm i imam 50 kg... samo... moram se ponovno udebljati malo...
Imam preblijedu kožu koja ne želi potamnjeti... Pwetty.
Ali se zato na njoj jako lijepo vide modrice i ožiljci. Kurva mala.
Želite najbolji opis moje psihe? Pročitajte lirike pjesme
Love Her od Seethera.
Opsjednuta sam... glazbom...
računalima...
crtanjem...
ljudima...
Ovisna sam o... kofeinu...
toplini tijela drugih ljudi (zagrljaji, poljupci, dijeljenje kreveta)...
ljudima općenito...
Depresivna sam, ali ne manično depresivna.
Dakle, ne režem se. Nisam glupa.Nisam fkn emerica.Ajme debili.
Drska. Bezobrazna. Sarkastična.
Odana. Nikad ne bih prevarila dečka.
Logički razmišljam. Dugoročno.
Zbog toga sam, kak' ti, mudra.
Ljudi me ne cijene dovoljno. Pogotovo oni površni.
Živcira me asimetrična gornja usna... često.
Užasno trzam na mirise. Pamtim ih. Uživam u njima.
Volim kišu osim ako mi ne sjebe planove.
Probajte se ljubiti mokri do kože na kiši.
Destruktivna sam. Pomalo i autodestruktivna.
Nasilna. Jako.
Sposobna sam ubiti. Priječe me samo ljudski i Božji zakoni.
Možda jednog dana ni to.
Istina, volim se tući. I raspravljati.
I razmjenjivati teorije sa inteligentnijim primjercima.
Razgovarati općenito.
Volim dijeliti krevet s bliskim ljudima.
I često ne podnosim samoću. Zbog toga spavam sa Vanjinim plišanim zecom (Krepalinom, op. a.) koji djeluje kao da su ga objesili i potom bacili na autoput.
U sobi držim litru Žuje koju nikako da popijem.
Ne da mi se. (???)
Oduvijek sam željela imati snažan glas sa rasponom koji obara s nogu, ali sam nakon petnaest godina sanjarenja i vježbe zbog određenih ljudi i određenih stvari/činjenica odlučila odustati od glazbe.
Odlučila, ne kažem da sam se uspjela riješiti se nečega zbog čega mi krv jače struja tijelom.
Slušam pretežito pop-punk, puno, puno rocka i metala, i nešto grungea i folka (to je ona viking glazba, ne caje i slične pizdarije). Obožavam i stare irske stvari. Stvarno svašta.
Slušam bandove kao...
Apocalyptica
Belfast Food
Bullet For My Valentine
Children Of Bodom
Elvis Presley
Evanescence
Fall Out Boy
Foo Fighters
stari Green Day
HIM
Hole
Ko
Lacuna Coil
Johnny Cash
stari Linkin Park
Metallica
nešto Nightwisha
Nirvana
Northern Kings
stari Panic! At The Disco
Puddle Of Mudd
Red Hot Chili Peppers
REM
Saliva
Seether
Sonata Arctica
System Of A Down
The 69 Eyes
The Darkness
The String Quartet
The White Stripes
Within Temptation
itd.
MSN? Pitajte smijete li me dodati.
Samo dodajte ako želite.
Više nemam dečka, nažalost. Spletom okolnosti i zahvaljujući osobnim problemima. Ali
ne tražim novog.
I... imam biseksualne sklonosti. Baš sam kewl. Oowow.
Ma vi ste krama; podržavate gay cure, ali ne i gay dečke. Stvarno svašta. Ccc. To je isto.
Ostale dosade :)
Anketa se odnosi na sliku u 99. postu (clickni na broj da bi vidio/vidjela post):
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moji drugi blogovi:
~ na ovom blogu radim i izlažem raznorazne designove za vaše blogove; primam i narudžbe, tako da slobodno malo razgledate
MyArtz
Stvari koje čitam kad se sjetim i stignem:
Sadistico's Vision Thing
Petrica
Jovanna
Tonchilly
Valentina
lady duck "wish to fuck"
B. C.
...Snow White Queen...
Wilim (back from the dead 
)
Ruđerovci:
Maxych
Škembica {1. d}
Aladin
Čižma a.k.a. Filip 
Mučić {1. d}
Dropa - #0T $au©e
Okun {1. d}
My fav sites:
The end of the world
AlbinoBlackSheep.com
Budalizacija (cro copy of ABS.com)
LimeWire
WATCH, LEARN AND SUFFER
loser/a na ovom site-u
Moji frendići:
Fakat ste zakon, vješate se dok sam ja odsutna, ccc
- Valentina, Vanja, Kiki, Josipa (i Petra drži mobitel)
Petra
Ivana
Mala Tonchilly misli da je shmexc.
Mali Tomek je umoran nakon burne partije biljara :D *ma buci bu*
Mali Kupina misli da je kewl.
Dominik "In-desperate-need-of-a-comb" Toth
Fitcho pozira jer misli da je fakat zgodan. Ono.
Prijenos utakmice: Sven, Kupina &
Aladin
Prijenos utakmice: Sven, Kupina & Denny
Lijevo: Čiki; desno: Maxych - dva dečka sa
potpuno heterosexualnim sklonostima
I za kraj, ekipa s mora (nismo svi... Antonija, Iva, ja, Ana, Tena, i Anja drži fotić... nema Martine i Nijemaca
)
Your fairy is called Juniper Icefly
She is a bone chilling bringer of justice for the vulnerable.
She lives in clear-headed pine forests.
She is only seen at midday under a quiet, cloudless sky.
She wears purple juniper colours. She has icy blue butterfly wings.
A kako se tji zjoveš?
Lirike, poezija, glazba.
Victoria's Secret
by:
Sonata Arctica
The light escapes her room tonight.
Every little moment tells her, now it's time.
Opening a new scar, closing the wounds with a knife.
No more crying in the lanterns light...
Leave with the first light, go when you still see the moon.
Run for the sunlight, gate is now open for you.
Dancing on the path and singing, now you got away.
You can reach the goals that you have set from now on, every day.
There is no way you would go back now, oh no, those days are past.
Life is waiting for the one who loves to live, and it's not a secret...
The Shades of Darkness filled her life.
In every single corner you can not turn right.
Night could pass for a day, in her lack of faith, she let it all fade away.
Once more, a cry in the lanterns light...
Lost in the sunlight, leave, you will not see the moon.
Walk for the first time, no one has waited for you...
Dancing on the path and singing, now you got away.
You can reach the goals that you have set from now on, every day.
There is no way you would go back now, oh no, those days are past.
Life is waiting for the one who loves to live, and it's not a secret...
Dancing on the path and singing, now you got away.
You can reach the goals that you have set from now on, every day.
There is no way you would go back now, oh no, those days are past.
Life's there for the ones who love to live and take it all, for it is free...
Dancing on the path and singing, now you got away.
You can reach the goals that you have set from now on, every day.
There is no way you would go back now, oh no, those days are past.
Life is waiting for the one who loves to live, and it's not a secret...
She's Like Heroine
by:
System Of A Down
She’s like heroin
Sipping through a little glass.
I’m looking for some help,
I need someone to save her ass.
Chinese tricks in rooms
With ghosts of hooker girlie dudes.
Me and heroin, maybe we can make some cash selling
ASS!
Selling ass for heroin,
ASS!
Selling ass for heroin,
ASS!
Selling ass for heroin,
ASS!
Selling ass for heroin.
She wants nothing more
but to be a little whore.
He wants nothing less
but to wear a little dress.
She’s like heroin
Sipping through a little glass,
I’m looking for some help,
I need someone to make some cash selling
ASS!
Selling ass for heroin,
ASS!
Selling ass for heroin,
ASS!
Selling ass for heroin,
ASS!
Selling ass for heroin.
She’s like heroin
Sipping through a little glass.
I’m looking for some help,
I need someone to save her ass.
She wants nothing more
but to be a little whore.
He wants nothing less
but to wear a little dress.
She’s like heroin
Sipping through a little glass.
I’m looking for some help,
I need someone to save her ass.
Chinese tricks in rooms
With ghosts of hooker girly dudes,
Me and heroin, maybe we can make some cash.
She’s like heroin
Sipping through a little glass.
I’m looking for some help,
I need someone to save my ass...
You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told)
by:
The White Stripes
In some respects
I suspect you've got a respectable side.
When pushed and pulled and pressured,
You seldom run and hide,
But its for someone else's benefit,
Not for what you wanna do,
Until I realize that you've realized
I'm gonna say these words to you:
You don't know what love is,
You do as your told.
Just as a child at ten might act,
But you're far too old.
You're not hopeless or helpless,
And I hate to sound cold,
But you dont know what love is...
You just do as your told.
I can see you, man,
Can't help but win
Any problems that may arise,
But in his mind there can be no sin
If you never criticize.
You just keep on repeating
All those empty "I love you's"
Until you see you deserve better,
I'm gonna lay right into you:
You don't know what love is,
You just do as your told.
Just as a child of ten might act,
But your far too old.
You're not hopeless or helpless,
And I hate to sound cold,
But you don't know what love is...
No, you don't know what love is...
No, you don't know what love is...
You just do as your told!
You do as your told
Yeah
Creep
by:
Radiohead
When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye.
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry.
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world.
I wish I was special,
You're so fucking special.
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here...
I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control,
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul...
I want you to notice
When I'm not around.
You're so fucking special...
I wish I was special...
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, oh, oh...
She's running out the door...
She's running out...
She run run run run...
Run...
Whatever makes you happy.
Whatever you want.
You're so fucking special...
I wish I was special...
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here...
I don't belong here...
Like A Rat Does Cheese
by:
Tré Cool [Green Day]
Suck my dick until your lips fall off,
Don't make me ask again, please,
Put it down your throat until it makes you cough,
Nibble on my dick like a rat does cheese.
Well, you're from the south, you're a special kind of girl,
Put my nuts in your mouth, it's like you were a squirrel,
Work on the shaft, cradle on the balls,
Baby, just don't bite it, get it off, get it off!
Suck my dick until your lips fall off,
Don't make me ask again, please,
Put it down your throat until it makes you cough,
Nibble on my dick like a rat does cheese.
Well, why don't you go down and hook a brother up,
Swallow it all down or spit it in a cup,
Wipe it on your t-shirt, let it dribble down your chin,
Smoke a couple Newports and suck that dick again?
Suck my dick until your lips fall off,
Don't make me ask again, please,
Put it down your throat until it makes you cough,
Nibble on my dick like a rat does cheese!
All By Myself
by:
Green Day [written by B. J. Armstrong, performed by Tré Cool]
I was alone.
I was all by myself.
No one was looking...
I was thinking of you.
I had an erection...
I was all by myself,
All by myself,
All by myself.
I went to your house,
But no one was there.
I went in your room.
I was all by myself.
You and me had such wonderful times
When I'm all by myself.
JOS beginning:
Jimmy: I saw you with him.
Whatsername: *sigh* You saw the hell.
Jimmy: Don't fucking lie to me..
Whatsername: What do you want from me, Jimmy..? ...I'm fucking him.
Jimmy: What was I to you?
Whatsername: *pft*
Jimmy: What the fuck was I to you?!
Whatsername: A friend... Someone I loved... A fucking memory.... (whispers) You're a fucking memory..
Jimmy: Oh yeah..?
Jimmy: I don't love you. You don't even get to be a memory.
Whatsername (whispers): Nice fucking death to you then.
Album Scream Aim Fire od Bullet For My Valentine:
Popis pjesama
prekrižene pjesme nedostaju, pjesme sa * kod imena su bonus track
01 Scream Aim Fire
02 Eye Of The Storm
03 Hearts Burst Into Fire
04 Waking The Demon
05 Disappear
06 Deliver Us From Evil
07 Take It Out On Me
08 Say Goodnight
09 End Of Days
10 Last To Know
11 Forever And Always
12 No Easy Way Out
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